I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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