I like to think it a success when the cops are called
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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