HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You can't special order awesome
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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