Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
