5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
