my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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