I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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