i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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