he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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