Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize