Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
