oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
