...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My Higher Power is John Stamos
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wish my penis had a tongue
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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