im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
