fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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