I didn't shave. On purpose
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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