I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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