You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
