He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
