I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
