Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize