if only i could text you this smell
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
