oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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