Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
