Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
