I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Randomize
