Dual....:-)
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
