he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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