lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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