don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
