U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
