She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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