y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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