I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
