So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
