I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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