How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
