your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize