Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize