i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
