you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
