I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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