I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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