I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
two words: eviction party
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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