Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
