The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
