If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
