batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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