I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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