..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
