He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
