i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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