I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
