i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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