Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
