And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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