Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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