i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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