it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's never too late to be topless.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
