Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
