I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
