my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
